28 Days to Hope for your Home (e-Book review and giveaway!)

Keeping a home has always been... what should I call it? ...an impossibility a struggle a challenge for me. I'm sure it has a lot to do with my mom's attitude. Bless the woman, but she had a poor attitude towards staying home, keeping house, taking care of children; she bitterly resented not having a career outside the home. (I know, Mom's not to blame for the mess I'm in -- I take total responsibility. But drawing on my experience, I realize the vital importance of training our daughters to smooth their way in the future.)

I remember hearing her say, more than once, that she was raising her daughters to "have a good career and pay someone else to do the drudge work." While we were off at school, the house magically cleaned itself.  Well, really, I know it didn't, but I saw little of the process. When I went off to college, my roommate had to teach me how to use the washer and dryer in the dorm basement.

My Saturday job was cleaning the bathroom. I grew up knowing how to clean a bathroom!

Since I loved chocolate chip cookies, I tended to hang around when Mom baked them. (She did most of her baking, too, when we were at school, but there were a few times I remember adding ingredients to the mixing bowl under her direction, turning on the mixer, scooping out spoonfuls of cookie dough onto a greased baking sheet...) My cooking skills were pretty limited when I left home. My repertoire included the aforementioned chocolate chip cookies, milkshakes in the blender, sandwiches, and heating up canned soup.

My older sister taught me a few more skills, the year we shared an apartment (some years later). She was quite a good cook, and I learned a lot from her about taking basic ingredients and turning them into good food. I also learned a little about keeping an apartment clean with an intensive weekend cleaning session, but not a whole lot about daily upkeep. I certainly wasn't in charge and didn't give housekeeping any thought; I just did what my sister said to do.

Over the years of having my own home, I've been frustrated by the difference between how I'd like the house to look, and reality. I can't tell you how many how-to-keep-house books I've read over the years. I finally came to the conclusion that I know all the theory, but reading isn't going to get the house clean so much as doing.

I'd try, in spurts, and burn myself out pretty quickly. I tried different systems. Some worked better than others (Sidetracked Home Executives was one, and FlyLady was another), but if I got sick or life got busy I couldn't keep it up. Not to mention my lack of self-discipline (I need a bumper sticker that says I'd Rather Be Reading) or cluelessness about setting up a cleaning schedule and sticking to it. Add to that the clutter (mostly paper and books) that keeps adding up, and you've got a problem. I mean, I have a problem. So does my family. I'm not the only one who didn't learn how to keep a house from my mom -- my daughters are in danger of the same thing, for different reasons!

Then along came A Slob Comes Clean. (Yes, I was still reading about cleaning, more than actually doing it. However, my reading had changed from books to the Internet.) I read the title of Dana White's book with a jaded eye: 28 Days to Hope for your Home. Yeah, right, I said to myself. I've seen this kind of thing before. Only, this was different. It wasn't promising a clean house in 28 days, it wasn't promising a clean house with no effort, nor a house that (practically) cleans itself. This book was promising hope. Believe me, when you're feeling desperate, hope sounds good.

Just reading about the book at the webpage was different. I got the feeling that Dana knew exactly how I felt. (In chatspeak: BTDT.) Moreover, she wasn't offering a spotless house in 28 days. She was offering four habits. Four. Would four habits really make that much difference?

Like I said, I was desperate. I bought it and downloaded it to my Kindle. (I don't have a Kindle, mind -- I would like to, someday, but that's another story -- but I do have a Kindle app on my PC.)

I read the Introduction. Well, okay, Dana calls it something else, but it serves as an introduction of sorts, taking you gently by the hand and leading you into the meat of the book. Which, for meat, is (figuratively speaking) already cut up into small bits, set out on the highchair tray, ready and waiting.

(Let me make this clear: I am not saying that the author's tone is demeaning or that I got the feeling she was talking down. Rather, she was rolling up her sleeves, getting ready to get into the trenches right alongside me, after already having been there at the start of her own battle. I'm mixing my metaphors between battle-hardened soldiers and highchairs, but, as FlyLady so eloquently puts it, Baby Steps...)

I shook my head, reading Day 1. This is too simple, I thought. It's not gonna work. It's just too simple.

Nevertheless, I rolled up my sleeves -- see, Dana, I'm not just reading but doing and following your example -- and I did the assignment for Day 1. I must admit, I peeked ahead and read through the first half of the book before I could restrain myself and return to trying this program as it was designed, one step at a time.

As I went through the first week, I got the eerie feeling that Dana was right there with me, reading my mind. (Well, in a sense... she really has been there. That's why this book has worked for me as well as it has. She understands my mindset, because her mind appears to run along in a similar fashion. Poor woman.)

By the end of the second week, something was working. I wasn't sure exactly what. Having little-to-no homemakerly instinct made it difficult to realize that, while I was doing so little that was different from the way I'd managed (or rather, not managed) before, new habits were being laid down, and (let's mix in another metaphor for variety, shall we?) dominoes were beginning to cascade. In slow motion, but one domino had knocked against another, and... We're talking hope, here.

So I made the book assigned reading for the girls.

I knew I was on to something when one of them said, "Wow, Mom, this sounds doable."

Let the training begin.

Dana has a new book out, which I haven't read yet, called Drowning in Clutter? (It's on my list. Yes, we've graduated from the 28 Days program, after several re-starts, and we're decluttering, in fits and starts as we work around debate tournament schedules and flu epidemics.) Anyhow (almost distracted myself, but whew, I got back on track), you can get both e-books together for a discounted price.

Right now, Dana is offering a special discount to my readers. Click here to go to the order page for 28 Days to Hope for your Home. Use the special code SWEET to get either e-book for $4 or the pair for $6.  This deal is good until midnight, 2/6/2013, so if you've been looking at one or both of these titles, it's a good time to order.



******************* But I promised a giveaway! *******************
...so here it is. Leave a comment below, and on Valentine's Day I will draw a name for a free copy of 28 Days to Hope for your Home. If you decide you can't wait and go ahead and buy the book and not wait for the drawing, Dana has promised to refund your purchase price if you win.

If you'd like to enter the drawing, but don't have an account that will allow you to comment here, please hop on over to my Wordpress blog and leave a comment there instead. Comments there are moderated, and you can leave your email address in the comment (so I can contact you if you win) without it being posted publicly.

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Disclaimer: In a burst of desperation, I bought 28 Days to Hope for your Home. I did not receive a free copy for review, nor will I receive any compensation for writing this review. However, the links in the review are affiliate links, so if you buy the e-book by clicking on a link in this post, I will receive a portion of the sale, which (if I didn't mention it before) I hope to add to what I'm saving to buy a Kindle. Thanks!

We're back!

...back from a grueling, exhilarating, five-day adventure also known as a Speech and Debate Tournament.

It is the best of days, it is the worst of days. (Wait, did someone already say that?)

A load of laundry is started, breakfast is on the stove, with the makings of more good food in the works. The Giant Schnoz, fully convinced that No One Else Will Do when it comes to taking her outside, feeding her, etc., is growling-and-wagging hopefully at my elbow. (Growling-and-wagging is a time-tested Giant Schnauzer technique. The growling is meant to show seriousness, with wagging thrown in to show it's not that kind of seriousness, but a more cheerful -- though urgent -- kind.)

(Pause to feed aforementioned dog)

And now, fed, she has taken the top off the treat jar, and so it must be time to give her the daily pill that resides in a bottle in the treat container. She likes her pills. She really does. That's why they're usually sealed up tight with the rest of the treats. Someone left the lid loose, and so I must go and see to the administration of the pill, and then make sure the treats are sealed in a manner that is safe from opportunistic Schnauzers. Be back in a minute.

(Pause to dose dog and secure future doses, along with various and sundry dog treats.)

Um. Where was I?

Speech and debate note: "Um" is a filler word, a distraction, undesirable in the extreme, along with "ah" and the misuse of "like" and oft-repeated phrases which become distractions when they dominate a speech, such as "Now..." and "Moving on" or "Moving along to my next point" or "All in all," or even "extremely" or "very."

We drove nearly four hours to get there, which makes a three-day event into a four-day (and if you're sane and drive back the day after the tournament ends, a five-day) event. The trip was well worth it.

Imagine a venue packed with suited students, trailing file boxes on wheels, filling the place with energy and excitement.

Speech and debate note: Debaters, as a rule, wear suits, looking like young professionals -- a convention of teen lawyers, perhaps, or youthful business people at a high powered conference. Speech participants who are not debaters, while not wearing suits, are conservatively dressed. They look good. They look sharp. Partners often wear matching outfits that complement each other -- shirts of the same hue, for example, or identical ties, or even more creative combinations like the young man whose tie matched his partner's shirt, while his partner's tie matched his shirt. Subtle, but not without impact.

The gym is the student lounge, in a manner of speaking, a staging area where competitions are announced and posted, where meals are served, a place to hang out in between events, to talk, laugh, practice, even engage in goofiness. (I heard about, but did not see, a mock debate that was described to me as the epitome of silliness.)

Another largish room is devoted to the judges and staff lounge, set up with tables and chairs and a steadily stocked refreshment table. This is where judges can work on their ballots, before (filling in competitors' names, reading over the rules for the event) and after an event.

Speech and debate note: There are two kinds of judges in an NCFCA tournament: Parent judges and community judges. Parent judges are just what they sound like, parents of competitors who fill in where needed -- because an awful lot of judges are needed. Dozens. Hundreds? I wouldn't be surprised. Community judges are recruited from the surrounding area and are essential to the tournament. The whole point is communication. The students have been working for months to polish their skills, and if they can get their point across to a community judge, essentially someone who comes in off the street (though there may be Toastmasters in the mix, as well as lawyers, pastors,  salespeople, and others who speak for a living, there are also mechanics, and waitresses, and dental assistants, and cashiers, and stay-at-home moms, and people from all walks of life), then they have succeeded. So next time someone whose kid is in a speech and/or debate club asks you to be a judge at an event, please do!

The remainder of rooms are smaller, from classrooms down to offices, even closets, anywhere you can squeeze a judge, a timer, and one or two speakers at a time. Ideally, you'll have a table for the judge and timer, and if it's a debate round, two tables, chairs and a lectern at the front of the room, plus a few chairs for spectators. In one of our daughter's debates, everyone (four debaters, a judge, a timer, and a watching parent) sat around one table. Not ideal, but they made it work).

Speech and debate note: There are two types of debate in the NCFCA. One is called Lincoln-Douglas Debate and involves one-on-one debate, two students debating a moral issue that changes each year (This year, the resolution is that a government has a moral obligation to assist other nations in need). The other is called Team Policy Debate where two teams of two partners each debate a policy issue. (This year, the resolution is that the United Nations should be significantly reformed or abolished.)

Speeches include a variety of events, taken from literature or written by the students, dramatic or humorous, informative and/or entertaining, prepared and memorized ahead of time, or made up on the spur of the moment, depending on the requirements of the particular event.

Over the three days, students perform their speeches or debate their resolutions, judges watch and fill out ballots, ranking the competitors. Some competitors are eliminated, some move on, through semi-final and final rounds, culminating in the final event, the awards ceremony where the winners in each category are announced.

Speech and debate note: ...well, not quite the final event. After the awards ceremony came the "ballot party" where many of the competitors went to a nearby Dairy Queen to read the judges' feedback, compare notes, celebrate or commiserate, exchange autographs, eat and talk and generally have a good time to cap off the tournament. It's a way of prolonging the time with friends old and new, a little longer, before everyone gets in their cars and scatters to the far corners of three states.

(See the National Christian Forensics and Communications Association website for more information about the organization behind the tournament.)

This tournament was a lot like others we've attended, popping with energy, inspiring and exhausting. An added complication was the stomach bug that started going around on the second day, and caused some competitors to miss the last day (or even interrupted events, in two cases I heard about). Quick action on the part of the organizers probably kept the bug from derailing the tournament. Competitors were urged to wash their hands frequently, and the usual competitor-judge handshakes were suspended.

What was amazing to me was that this tournament was sponsored by a club that was just formed a few months ago. It was beautifully organized, well run, and I can't say enough about the sponsors and those who came to help make it all happen.

Speech and debate note: Besides the competitors, parents, and judges, there are an awful lot of behind-the-scenes people who make it all possible. Hats off to these, too many to name, and many of whom I either never saw, or only saw in passing as they were hurrying from one task to another.

And now we're home, having spent a fair chunk of yesterday traveling home and then unpacking and settling down. Today is a day to do laundry, to regroup for a new week, to begin to catch up on everything that was set aside during the days we were preparing to go and the days we were away.

Oh, and a time to tend to a needy Schnoz who really, really missed us (she said so, in no uncertain terms), and to tend to a sick kid, who, tournament over, has succumbed to a nasty respiratory bug. You know how you can fight something off when you're in the middle of an important endeavor, and the adrenaline and excitement keep you going, only to crash in the end?

Yeah, that's about the size of it.

However, even with the exhaustion and illness that has her down today, she'd do it all over again. (And will, most likely. There are three more qualifying tournaments in the season, followed by Regionals. Nationals? Still a dream away. But more on all that, later.)

First Thing Monday Morning: A Day Late, and...

 ...do you remember the rest of that old saying? (a dollar short, in case you were wondering)

It reflects the frustration of missing an important deadline because you forgot to record the date on your calendar, or you forgot to look at the calendar, or (if you're like me) you looked at the calendar but at the wrong week!

Yesterday I was the poster child for people who are calendar challenged. I got a call early, saying that there was no play practice that morning. That was certainly a relief, because I had not gotten word in the first place that an extra play practice was (as it turns out, it was not) scheduled. I glanced at the calendar and went on with my day...

...virtuously staying away from the computer because I was going to get some neglected things done.

(things can get neglected when you struggle with time-related issues, like calendars and schedules, and self-discipline issues, like routines)

Boy, did I feel good.

...right on up to the point (about 5:30 pm) where I realized what day it actually was, and that I'd missed an important annual event put on by our homeschool group, something we'd all been looking forward to for weeks.

I'm still kicking myself. This is after kicking myself all yesterday evening, diving into housework (scrubbing is a great outlet for anger and frustration) and throwing a grown-up sort of tantrum -- which involves, first, badmouthing oneself out loud, and then when the kids protest, taking it private. The problem with this solution is that it doesn't really solve anything or prevent future flakiness.

I have got -- at this late date -- to establish routines, to get my physical surroundings under control, for starters. I'm so distracted and distractable, I'm feeling less and less of use to anyone (including myself).

One of the reasons for First Thing Monday Morning is accountability, a way to stay on track, though of course you have to get on the track before you can have any hope of staying there. Another reason is to share resources that have helped me. This week's planned-but-not-scheduled-ahead-of-time (I'm learning to do this but I got busy last week and my scheduled blogging time on the weekend didn't happen) was to be a book review. There's this mom who's written an e-book about getting on track. I got the eerie feeling while reading, that we were twins separated at birth.

The book is called 28 Days to Hope for Your Home and has a subtitle of (not for the mildly disorganized). If you want a preview, you can go to this link and see what I read when I first stumbled across the book. (FYI, that link is an affiliate link. If you were to decide to buy the book through that link, I'd get a little pocket money. And thank you.) You can read her latest blog post here. (Not an affiliate link. Just in case you were wondering.)

If you're desperate and want to get started now, and not wait for the book review, you can get the e-book. I'm not trying to hold you to a schedule. (Just me.)

I bought and downloaded her book in a moment of desperation, and have been applying it for about ten days now. It's helping. Things are getting better around here. I've even started the girls reading the book; they need it as much as I do. But I don't have time today to give the book justice, so here's the plan: this week I'm going to be working on next week's post (imagine that, thinking ahead) and First Thing next week you'll see a book review. (If the creek don't rise... as my sister-in-law is fond of saying.)

So, since we started talking about calendars and how slippery and difficult to manage they can be... we'll wrap up with talking about calendars. How do you manage yours? What are your favorite tips for keeping your schedule straight? Share them here in a comment, or please feel free to link up!

First thing Monday morning...

I remember when I was rooming with my sister in college. Well, I was in college, and she was in graduate school, but for about a year we shared an apartment off campus.

She has always been a go-getter. Seriously, for years I couldn't understand how she could get so much done. She probably couldn't understand how I could get so little done! We are opposites in many ways... however, living with her had its bonuses. I lived something of an organized life -- the apartment was never a mess, with her in charge. (Did I mention she's my older sister?) Even if it had been a busy week, on Saturday morning she'd get up, make a list of what needed to be done, wake me up and hand me my orders. We'd both work away (I admit, I was not always cheerful about not getting to sleep in on a Saturday, spoiled younger sister that I was) and by lunchtime the place would sparkle and the rest of the weekend was free for fun! ...and, er, studying.

Musical chairs... er, chores

She also put music on while we worked -- maybe something she picked up from our mom, who always had the Saturday Metropolitan Opera broadcast playing when she did Saturday clean-up. Or maybe she just knew that music can get you moving and keep you moving when you're doing chores that don't require a whole lot of brainpower, just elbow grease. One of the songs I remember was from the Broadway musical Purlie! -- a men's chorus singing a rousing "First Thing Monday Morning!"

Gonna get me straight... 'fore it gets too late...

I can't tell you much else about that Broadway show, because I never saw it, but I do remember that record playing, among others, to spur us in our Saturday cleaning sprees. For some reason, though, "First Thing Monday Morning" sticks in my head. Maybe because it's one of the procrastinator's mottoes.

When the going gets tough, the Tough -- um, what was the rest of that?

When you're surrounded by disorder, when you're living in chaos, you have this desire to get things straight, to do things "decently and in order," and an orderly approach seems to involve the ritual of setting a start date, just the right start date as a matter of fact, whether it's Monday morning (the start of the week) or January 1st (even bigger, the start of a new year). The energy starts to flow as the deadline approaches, you gear up, you look forward to tackling the problem (and maybe there's some dread mixed in with the anticipation, anxiety that it's not going to work), and then the day arrives!

There are several different outcomes, in my experience.

- An interruption comes along, some reason that you can't start on the designated day. You have to wait a whole 'nother week to get started! (This is assuming we're talking about "Monday Morning Syndrome.") What an energy drain. It's the procrastinator's dream, though, because you get to put it off another week.

- You get started on The Day and work along and it's just not fun, but you force yourself anyhow, for awhile. You almost welcome the inevitable interruption that throws you off track.

- You get started on The Day and actually enjoy bringing order out of chaos... but it doesn't last. I've figured out that my college biology professor was right. Everything trends towards disorganization. Without the spark of life, corruption sets in; organic matter breaks down (or is broken down) and falls apart. Without consistent upkeep, order breaks down and slowly -- or not so slowly -- becomes chaos.

First thing Monday morning...

I'm in the digging-out phase yet again, after an over-busy school year. Monday seems like a good day to talk about planning and organizing strategies. You're welcome to join in!

I'm not advocating Monday-Morning thinking (tried it, bought the T-shirt), but rather establishing (gulp) routines, figuring out how to make things work, especially for someone as distractable, overbooked, and happy-go-lucky as I tend to be. A Monday-morning check-in is a good accountability tool.

How about you?

Are you just getting started, re-started, or partway on the journey from the City of Chaos to the Realm of (most-of-the-time) Order?

I've included a Linky at the bottom of this post, if you'd like to come alongside. Today's topic: What's motivating you to do things differently? What's your pet peeve right now, in terms of your home and schedule, something you have the power to change?

Alternatively, just leave a comment to this post, and Happy Monday to you!